Gratitude, It Might Just be a Superpower!

Gratitude is more than just saying, "Thank you." In fact, it may just be a superpower. One that can make you and your children happier. The Journal of Happiness Studies found that by the age of 5 there is a connection between happiness and gratitude. In other words, teach your children gratitude and they may be happier people now and in the future. Another study published in the Journal of School Psychology found that "grateful children (ages 11 to 13) tend to be happier, more optimistic and have better social support. They also report more satisfaction with their school, families, communities, friends and themselves." 

And if this isn't enough to convince you that gratitude might be a superpower, studies in adults have shown benefits like, better mental and physical health, better sleep, higher levels of happiness and hopefulness and even longer lifespans. Research has also shown gratitude for past experiences can increase current levels of happiness and provide a more hopeful outlook on the future. Gratitude is a superpower that can have a tremendous impact on our lives and the lives of our kids. So, let's start teaching our kids how to be grateful from a young age. Here are some strategies to get you started. 

Teach your child to say, "Thank you." I know, I know. I just told you there is so much more to gratitude than saying thank you, but this a good place to start. The best way for kids to learn to say thank you is to hear us saying it too. Model saying thank you frequently. Thank the clerk at the store, the waiter at the restaurant, and thank your child too. You can also encourage your child to say thank you with gentle reminders. "What do you say to grandma for your new shirt" or "Your friend gave you a turn with the toy. Make sure you say thank you." When you hear your child say thank you be sure to provide positive feedback. "I really liked how you said thank you to your friend for having you over to play." 

Use gratitude questions to help your child think about what it means to be thankful. This is how we move beyond just saying, "thank you." We know that children and adults can fall into the trap of saying thank you because it is what is expected, not necessarily what they feel. Asking gratitude questions helps us truly understand what it means to be grateful. According to Very Well Mind, the Raising Grateful Children Project at UNC Chapel Hill has shown there are 4 parts to gratitude:

1. Noticing-identify the things you are grateful for
2. Thinking-giving thought to how you got those things
3. Feeling-recognizing the way you feel because of the things you have received
4. Doing-how do you show that you are grateful

As parents we tend to focus on how children show gratitude. According to Very Well Mind, "While 85% of parents said they prompted their kids to say, "thank you," only 39% encouraged children to show gratitude in ways that went beyond good manners. In addition, only a third of parents asked their child how a gift made them feel, and only 22% asked why they thought someone had given them a gift." We can ask the following questions from the UNC Researchers to help move our kids beyond just saying, "thank you," to being truly grateful. 

1. Notice-What do you have in your life to be grateful for? What can you be grateful for beyond just things you have? Who are the people in your life that you are grateful for?
2. Think-What do you like about this present? Why do you think the person gave you this gift? Should you give the person who gave you this gift something? 
3. Feel-How do you feel about this gift? Why do you feel this way?
4. Do-How can you show how you feel about this gift? What could you do to help someone else feel the same way? 

Do acts of kindness with your children. These can be small acts like holding the door open for people behind you to big acts like shoveling your neighbor's driveway in the winter. Be sure to talk about why we do nice things for other people. 

Model gratitude for your children. We know that kids learn a lot by watching us. They do what we do. If your children see you saying, "thank you," talking about being grateful, writing thank you notes and doing acts of kindness, they will be more like to do those things on their own. 

Use tools to help your family focus on gratitude. Work as a family to play games and create projects that help you talk about and show gratitude. One possible idea to implement a 30 Days of Gratitude calendar. 

For more gratitude activities and projects check our South Washington County Schools Early Learning Facebook page.

Make gratitude part of your daily routine. Set a specific time and choose a specific activity to help your family talk about and show gratitude on a daily basis. Some families like to have each family member share something they are grateful for during a family mealtime. Other families might incorporate an activity like this into bedtime. Having a gratitude routine helps make practicing gratitude a habit.

See the silver lining. Disappointing things happen to all of us. Look for things to be grateful for despite whatever difficulty is happening and point this out to your child. Your child can't play outside because of the weather. Tell them how you are happy you get to play board games with them instead. Ask your child to think of something good that could come for a difficult situation. 

Making gratitude a priority in your home will lead to many positive benefits, including higher levels of happiness, for you and your kids. What will you do today to start building gratitude in your home?