Time to be vulnerable...grab a tissue!

You've already heard it a thousand times.  "Enjoy that sweet baby because they grow up so fast."  And let's be honest...you likely smile or nod and then silently gag.  You may be tired of hearing it because your days are long.  Very long.  You've likely already had a pot of coffee, watched seventeen episodes of Daniel Tiger, endured 3 meltdowns about what's being offered for breakfast, and it's only 6 am.  I get it.  I was there.  The adage that the days are long but the years are short definitely applies here.

So you have this sweet baby and at first, you're in a fog.  What in the world am I going to do with this child?  What have I gotten myself into?  What have I gotten him/her into?  How will I know what he or she needs?  In order to answer this question, you pour over blogs, magazine articles, social media, and books.  You come to classes like ECFE to connect with other parents that help guide you and resource-sharing teachers that cuddle your baby so you can gulp down your cold cup of coffee.  You watch videos and you start to feel confident.  "I've got this!  We're in a nice routine now!"

Then that little one steps foot on the kindergarten school bus and you wonder how five years have already passed.  You dry your tears, call your friends, and connect on how hard it is to begin the process of letting go.  Even though you secretly like to go to the grocery store alone, you still have a nagging knot in your stomach that your baby is growing up.  That's when the days begin to blend into years and the years go by far more quickly than you're ready for.  Soon enough you're helping them through middle school and you realize why you didn't like middle school the first time around.  They may have challenges with friends, school work gets harder, and each day they remind you that all they want is to be independent (and for you not to embarrass them in front of their friends).

And just like that,  you're watching them register for high school, try out for team sports, develop a new skill like debate (like they really need to "develop" it...they've been debating since they could speak), and bloom into this young adult that you didn't know existed.  You don't really embarrass them as much anymore and you start to get hugs from someone that's suddenly taller than you.  When did THAT happen?  You tease them about how you changed their diaper, longing for the days when a dirty diaper was their biggest problem.  It starts to sink in that you cannot stop time, though you wish you could, and you become proud of the work that you and your village have done to pour into the life of this young person.  And you're proud of them, too.  Because they are amazing.  They are a gift.  Your baby. 

Now this crazy blogger lady is misty-eyed because in just a few short months, her baby will graduate from high school.  She doesn't know where the time has gone.  Some days she wishes she could stop it, but most days she's excited to see where this young man will go.  The inventor of the word "bittersweet" was most certainly a mom watching her child grow and change and spread their wings to fly.

So hold that child of yours tightly.  Smell them while they still have that baby smell.  Never regret setting aside your dirty toilet for a conversation with your kiddo.  And smile with pride every step of the way, because each moment as their parent is a gift...even the hard moments.  If you are a young parent, hold on tightly for the very best ride of your life!

Crazy blogger lady's boy:

18 months

17 years

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year: THE AFTERMATH

Let's be honest...you just channeled your inner James Earl Jones voice when you read that title.  It's ok.  That was the intent.  How many of you are swimming in the aftermath of holiday celebrations, travel, family time, and general mayhem?  How many of you have children that are not yet back in their routine and they're "reminding" you of that every minute of the day?  How many of you are feeling emotions of gladness that it's all over mixed with sadness after saying goodbye?  This is a stark, cold, and sometimes depressing time of year.  If you are feeling that way, your children may be, too. 

January.  Blah.  It's too cold to go outside, grandma is nowhere in sight to play with your little one, and it's dark at 2:30 in the afternoon.  That last one may be a bit of a stretch, but you see my point.  We go from houses that are festively lit up with decorations, one fun party after another, and a plethora of family time to a dirty, empty house and long stretches of PBS television.  If you're anything like me, you start counting the days until the first sign of spring...which in Minnesota will be sometime in June. 

How can you help yourself and your child through these gray days as you get back to "normal"?  For starters, it's hard to help someone else when you may be struggling, too.  There's an old adage that refers to what to do in the event of an in-flight airplane emergency:  "put the oxygen mask on yourself before assisting others".  This time of year may be the perfect time to do something just for you.  Parents tend to put themselves last on the caregiving list and your child can feel it.  Now is a great time to cash in that gift card for a massage, pedicure, or dinner at your favorite restaurant.  Don't save it for later!  A de-stressing event right after a big celebration is a fantastic self-care idea.

For your child, now is a great time to encourage their routine.  As was mentioned in the previous post, children love routine during all times of the year, busy or not.  Make naptime or rest time a priority for your child and for you everyday.  While your child sleeps, do NOT clean out the closet.  Brew a fresh, hot cup of coffee and grab your favorite book.  Remember the oxygen mask?  (Ok, you can clean out the closet, but only if it helps you feel better and more energized.) 

For your little one who may be lonely and missing family from far away, make it a point to talk about those feelings with him or her.  You may be thrilled that it's all over, but your child may be missing seeing grandparents regularly, playing with cousins, or just having both parents at home during the day.  Help them better understand that feeling in the pit of their stomach.  The younger the child, the more they need their parent or caregiver to help them process emotions.  It may be helpful for your child to have a scheduled time to FaceTime or Skype with relatives to keep memories fresh.  This may also be the perfect opportunity to introduce letter writing!  Even if your child doesn't write words yet, out-of-town family would love a special picture to arrive in their mailbox.  Why not encourage letter-writing, pen pal fashion, with a grandparent?  Think about how excited your child would be to check the mailbox everyday for the reply.

The time may also be right to tackle a project with your child that you've been putting off, such as potty-training or moving into a big kid bed.  During long, cold days when you'd rather not go outside anyway, why not help your child learn that new skill?  You'll be thrilled not to have to carry a diaper bag to the park once spring finally rolls around!

Finally, some parents and kids function best when they can get out of the house at least once a day.  The last thing you may want to do is dress the kiddos up in all of their winter gear, knowing that they'll be "all done" in 5 minutes.  Do it anyway.  Unless it's 400 below zero, the fresh air from a quick backyard playtime or a walk around the block will do everyone wonders.  Additionally, finding a fun indoor activity that will give the family a chance to burn off extra energy is worth considering.  Register for an extra ECFE class or check out this Community Education page for some great parent/child events.  You can also give the  Preschool Open Gym a try.  The kids will be so tired out from fun activities that they'll go to bed early.  You may even get a minute to watch your favorite James Earl Jones movie.  See?  Everyone's a winner. 

Happy Winter!