Happy Holidays?!! Sometimes (READ: most of the time), this time of year is hard on families of small children. If you've attended any ECFE classes, you've likely learned that your child's routine is your friend. Your very best friend. Children thrive on predictability. They feel safest when they know what is coming next and what to expect from those around them. They feel the best physically when they are getting adequate sleep at night and for naps during the day. When a child is hungry, it's difficult for them to focus on anything else (whereas adults can stave off hunger if they know they're about to feast). New surroundings can send some children into a bit of a tailspin, and unfamiliar people, even relatives, may make your child feel uncomfortable (think about that long lost great aunt that wants to smooch the cute baby's face...).
So, what can you do to make this time of year easier for your family? There are strategies that may ease the pain of your child's change in routine. While you may not be able to control all aspects of your child's schedule, you may be able to try some things that make life a little bit easier for your child and for you:
- Check with the host/hostess to see if you can plan meal time during the part of the day that makes the most sense for the children attending the party. Some parents may prefer to feed their children ahead of time and then have the adults eat during naptime so that they can enjoy an adults' only meal. Other families may want everyone together at mealtime, so eating at a time when children are hungry and ready to eat may work best.
- As much as possible, stick to your child's sleep schedule. If you can create a cozy nap environment in someone else's house, your child can sneak away and get the rest that he or she is accustomed to during the day. Sound machines or fans work magic in noisy houses. If you can get home by bedtime in the evening, your child will feel better and you may get a few evening hours to finish wrapping or to enjoy a movie with your significant other.
- Limit the amount of together time. Some children are overwhelmed by extended time with family and friends. If you can honor their need for alone time by building it in to a busy schedule, your child may be more ready to face friendly faces the next day.
- SNACKS! Having a bag of child-friendly snacks at the ready is great in a pinch when the turkey isn't quite finished cooking yet. Think high-protein, energy-producing snacks.
- ACTIVITIES! While you're packing the snack bag, throw in some toys, books, and activities that will interest your little one, especially if you're going to a house where children don't live. That long lost great aunt will love nothing more than to read to your child while you connect with relatives.
- While suits, ties, and dresses, are SUPER adorable on small children, consider throwing a pair of jammies or comfortable clothes in your bag that they can change into. You know how you feel after eating a big meal and your clothes become uncomfortable? Your child feels the same way.
- For children over two, letting them in on the plan so they know what to expect can help them feel ready. Even allowing them to help choose what to take along can help them have some control over their time.
- Bring along any transitional objects that help your child feel safe. Blankets, stuffed animals, pacifiers, etc. help them feel like they're at home. It is also how your child self-soothes. Giving them the tools they need to feel good is a gift to them and to you.
- Try not to work on big life events at the same time as a holiday (like starting potty training). Putting too much on your plate for an already busy time of year may be a recipe for disaster.
As you all know, controlling every outcome for your child is impossible. Hopefully, though, the above tips will relieve some pressure so you can enjoy this festive time of year. Coming together with family and friends is a wonderful experience for your children. If you are prepared to help them navigate these busy times, the holiday experience will be wonderful for you, too. At the very least, it may keep you out of the fetal position.
For another great blog from author Mary Sheedy Kurcinka titled "Extrovert and Introverts: Holiday Cheer", click here.
Next up in January: Coming down off of the holidays and a Guest Blogger!
From all of us at ECFE, we wish you a safe and happy holiday season!
