Put on Your Oxygen Mask First!

Anyone who has traveled on the a plane has heard the safety spiel about putting on their oxygen mask first before they help others. This true for so much more of life than just the oxygen masks on airplanes. We have to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others. This is especially hard for parents. We have little, or not so little, people depending on us. Needing us for so many things. Especially right now, when parents are not only trying to work, but have to parent and help their children with school, all from home while being isolated from friends and family, it is even more important that we practice self-care.

First things first, set aside your guilt. You know what I am talking about. That little voice that tells you that you need to do the laundry or clean the kitchen or that your kids can't see their friends and family right now so they need your undivided attention. While all of those things might be true, you also need to take care of yourself. Otherwise all of those things will overwhelm you making it hard for you to take care of anyone or anything.

Make it a routine. Set aside some time each day, or at the very least at each week, to do something for yourself. Maybe even go so far as to schedule it on your calendar.

For a lot of us spending time with our friends and extended families is something that we are missing right now. Utilize technology, like Zoom or Skype, to connect with people. This past weekend my best friends and I had a virtual happy hour using Zoom. We each gathered up a snack, found a quietish spot (3 of us are moms so you know how that goes) and enjoyed chatting and laughing together. We have already scheduled another Happy Hour for this coming Saturday.

Prioritize your relationship with your parenting partner. Set up regular date nights. This doesn't have to be something that involves getting a babysitter or going out. My husband and I had weekly date nights at home after our kids were in bed when they were young. We would play a board or card game, make a special dinner or dessert, or just sit and visit.

Practice gratitude on a daily basis. Research shows that practicing gratitude can help reduce anxiety. During this time when our lives are drastically changed, it can be easy to lose sight of the good. Remind yourself by making a gratitude list. Here's my list for today: I am grateful for the nice weather we have been having. I am grateful for my house where we are safe. I am grateful for all the essential workers who are still working to help take care of all of us.

Enjoy some time outside. Yesterday, my family of five plus our two dogs ventured out on a walk through our neighborhood. We enjoyed the sunshine, fresh air and signs of early spring that we encountered. I enjoyed sunshine so much I dug out a lawn chair when we got home and sat in my front lawn in the sun reading my book. Here's the deal about getting outside, not only can it be enjoyable, research shows that it is good for our mental health.

Find things that fill you up and make you happy. This will different for all of us. Maybe you need to set aside time to exercise on a regular basis, read a book or magazine, take a long bath, find something that makes you laugh, meditate, or pick up a hobby that you used to do pre-kids. Whatever it is, find something you enjoy and make time to do it.

Also, don't be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes things can be too much and we just need a little help to take care of ourselves. The district has mental health resources available here.