How often do you find yourself wondering if you're doing too much for your child? Do you sometimes become frustrated that your little one isn't pitching in enough at home? Do you feel as though your child may be capable of more than they let on? If so, you're probably right! Our intentions as parents are almost always pure and come from a place of love for our children. We love them and want to help them. Then suddenly, while picking up the toy room for the thousandth time, we feel bitter.
The good news is that young children LOVE to feel capable and successful. They feel good when they accomplish a difficult task and for the most part, they like to help. At any moment, parents can decide to develop their child's "helper" mentality and this is good for the entire family! It's been said that the child is a member of the family, not the center of the family. When families decide to work together and each member has responsibilities, many hands can make light work.
So now you're scratching your head, wondering what tasks are age appropriate for your little one. You're in luck! This blog should give you some ideas and resources for where to start:
Infants: We all know that babies need a lot of assistance. Their self-help skills are limited and it's unrealistic that we expect them to start carrying their weight around the house! That being said, there are some self-help skills that you can encourage your baby to develop as they grow. For instance, as baby grows, they can begin to participate and take charge of mealtime by feeding themselves, holding a cup or bottle, and sitting up and entertaining themselves through play. As your child gains these skills, you may begin to see their role as an individual. As hard as it can be to watch them become increasingly independent of you, you also get an up-close view of their successes. The more they accomplish, the more capable they feel. And that's pretty awesome for a parent to see! You can learn more about this here.
Toddlers: These little bundles of love are usually much more capable than they get credit for! By the time a child is two or three, they can start to help clean up toys, wash their own hands with some assistance, put clothes in the hamper, and start to learn to use the potty. Every task may take 10 times as long as you'd like, but the joy you see on your child's face when you're able to praise them for a job well-done is priceless. It's a good idea to build some extra time into your schedule whenever possible to accommodate your child's desire to "do it myself".
Preschoolers: The great thing about preschoolers is that communication comes much more easily for them. They are able to follow two to three step directions, fold easy laundry like socks and washcloths, pick up toys, and dress themselves. They may love to brush their own teeth, but it's still a good idea for a parent to assist. They may respond well to setting a timer and getting as many tasks done as they can in five minutes. They will also love to help bag groceries at the grocery store. The key to remember is that they may not accomplish the task in the same way that you would, but with gentle guidance, they will learn the tricks of the trade quickly!
If adults can surrender the desire for perfection, children can be cheerful helpers! Growing a capable mind in your child is a gift to them and to you.
More resources:
http://www.easternflorida.edu/community-resources/child-development-centers/parent-resource-library/documents/self-help-skills-chores.pdf
http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/documents/teaching_routines.pdf
https://www.verywell.com/preschooler-self-care-skills-2764714
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