Fantasy or Reality? What Halloween Means for Little Ones

Fall is well underway.  We know this because there is a chill in the air, the trees are filled with bright and vibrant colored leaves that are falling all around us, and children everywhere are anticipating the candy haul that they are about to make in the next week or so. 

Halloween.  Not every family chooses to celebrate the holiday of costumes, candy, and spooky things, but there's no doubt that the images of this holiday are all around us.  It's impossible to miss the decorations on neighbors' houses, in the grocery stores, and on television.  So you may wonder, what does all of this mean for children?  It's worth thoughtful consideration for parents.

Think for a minute about all of the costumed trick or treaters that arrive at your door every year at this time.  Many of the costumes are happy, fun, or comical.  Certainly, they're cute!  Others can be very scary, though.  If your young child happens to see the scarier images, their fearful reaction may surprise you.  According to an article from parenting.com on imagination vs. reality,  once kids have the memory and experience to understand that things aren't always as they appear, usually by age 5, costume transformations aren't as frightening. This means if your child is younger than 5, they may look at that costumed friend and think they're not imaginary, but real.  This brings about real fear.

After the age of about 3 (give or take), children can also develop typical childhood fears.  Images around them can trigger fear which may lead to sleepless nights, fear of something under the bed or in the closet, and general anxiety.  What can we do as parents to help our children through this developmentally typical phase?  Here are some suggestions:

• Consider reducing the amount of time in front of television screens.  Images that aren't scary to adults may be very frightening for your child and increase the likelihood of fear and anxiety.
• Talk about and honor your child's fear, even if it seems irrational to you.  Encouraging your child to share how they feel and validating them by saying something like "I can tell that's scary for you" helps them know that their feelings matter and they're safe with you.
• Play dress-up!  If you and your child spend some time playing with hats, masks, and other items, it can help your child understand the difference between fantasy and reality sooner.  Let them watch you take a mask on and off and have fun with it.
• Empower your child to be bigger than their fears.  Consider giving them a spray bottle of water with a label on it like "Monster Spray" that they can spray around their room before bed. This simple idea can shift the power back in the child's hands. 
• Look for fun ways to celebrate with friends in a non-scary environment.  ECFE is hosting the Monster Mash on Saturday, October 29th, 2016 at Woodbury High School from 10 am to noon.  There will be family friendly music, activities, games, and bounce houses available to you and your children ages birth to five.  Tickets are available here.  We'd love to see you (in your non-scary costumes) there!

This is not meant to discourage you from celebrating Halloween.  It can be a fun and exciting time of year for families.  The key is to be aware of the sites and sounds around your little ones, step into their shoes to feel what they feel, and make your plans accordingly. 

One more program note:  because we try to remain sensitive to all families and their experiences, we do not celebrate Halloween in our regularly scheduled ECFE classes.  We ask that treats and costumes remain at home. 

All of us at ECFE wish you a safe and Happy Halloween!