Have you seen the movie Inside Out? If you have, great! If not, put the kids to bed and watch it. Common Sense Media recommends the movie for children 6 and up so it may not be appropriate for those under 6.
Why am I suggesting you see this particular movie? Because ultimately, Inside Out has important messages about needing to feel -- and express -- all of your emotions, whether happy or sad.
Throughout my 25 years as a parent educator, when I've asked parents what they want/hope/desire for their children, inevitably parents will respond they want their children to be happy:) And, of course, we all want our children to be happy, but we also need our children, for their emotional health, to experience all emotions, including sadness:( When children are allowed to experience sadness, frustration, fear, etc. they learn how to cope and how to manage these emotions. They learn that all emotions are important to their healthy development. So yes, let your kids experience their emotions, but don't forget to teach them how to express these emotions - appropriately.
Developing these important self-regulation skills are great indicators of future academic and relationship success. John Gottman in his book The Heart of Parenting discusses the importance of being an emotional coach to our children. Gottmans offers 5 Steps to Emotional Coaching:
1. Become aware of your child's and your own emotions.
2. Recognize the emotion as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching.
3. Listen empathetically, validating the child's feelings.
4. Help the child find words to label the emotion s/he is having.
5. Set limits while exploring strategies to solve the problem at hand.
So, back to Inside Out. Watching this movie, you will experience a roller coaster of emotions. But in the end, you will understand the important role emotions play in our children's healthy development;)
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