One of the loneliest times in my life was after I had my first baby. It was an amazing time in my life. I had a precious baby girl who I loved more than life itself. I was so excited to be a mom and loved every moment with my little girl. And yet I was lonely. I needed people who understood what it meant to be so exhausted you couldn't sleep. People who could understand my worries and help me navigate my new role as a mother.
Don't get me wrong, I had an amazing group of friends. Ladies, who to this day, are my besties, my ride or die, my people I could depend on for almost anything and everything. We got through college together, navigated heart break, graduated and found jobs and so much more. These ladies are my lifelong friends and they loved on me and my baby when I became a momma! At the same time, I learned that I was in a very different place or season in my life than them. I was the only friend in our group who was married let alone having babies. I needed friends for this new season of my life.
I found these friends by joining a neighborhood moms' club. It was here that I met other moms. Moms, I could rely on not to judge me, but offer me support, whether it was giving advice or just listening when I needed to vent. It was also within this group that my children's first friendships developed with my new mom friends' children.
The other place where I found support and friendship was in ECFE classes. Here I met parents who were experiencing all kinds of circumstances, working moms, moms preparing to reenter the workforce, moms and dads choosing to stay home with their children, grandparents helping to raise their grandchildren, and more. The parents and teachers I met in ECFE helped to normalize so many of the things I was experiencing as a mother. I learned I wasn't the only one who had a baby who didn't sleep! I learned what was typical development for my children at different ages and stages. I learned about the power of offering choices to kids and so much more. I found a supportive community that helped me navigate the season of new motherhood.
As my kids have grown, my friendships have changed. My group of best friends have gotten married and started having babies of their own. I have been able to offer support to them as they navigate motherhood. And even though my kids are older than their kids, I have also learned and grown as a parent from their experience as mothers.
I have also gained friends through my children's interests and friends. When you spend hours sitting at an ice rink or baseball diamond or soccer field together, you can't help but build a shared bond. These parents are the parents I know I can call when I need help getting my kid to practice or the game. The parents I can turn to with questions about navigating life as a parent of adolescents.
Research shows that having solid friendships is good for both your physical well-being and your mental health. Friendship can reduce feelings of isolation, increase happiness, improve self-confidence and can help you cope during major life changes. The transition to parenthood is no exception.
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