Is My Child Falling Behind?

A concern that keeps coming up for parents of kids of all ages is, "Is my child falling behind?" Maybe your child started kindergarten or preschool this year but instead of school as usual, they are doing distance learning or hybrid learning. Maybe you have a two-year-old and they aren't getting to interact with other kids. The list goes on and on. Our current Covid reality means parents have a lot of concerns and one major one is the impact all these changes have on their child's learning and development. 

My hope is help put your mind at ease by telling you that despite all that is going and all the disruption it has brought, child development doesn't stop. Kids will continue to develop. The great news is that there are simple, easy and inexpensive things families can do at home to help support development. The even better news is that not only is are these things beneficial to kids, they are also good for parents and other caregivers!

• Plan family mealtimes. Choose a meal during your day when your whole family can sit down together and eat. Research shows that family meals are good for our brains, bodies and spirits. For young children, family mealtime has been shown to boost vocabulary. Family mealtimes also influence academic success even more so than the time your child spends doing homework! Family meals do not have to be gourmet and can be any meal during the day. Some families find that dinner/supper works best for family meals while other families find breakfast to be a good time to all eat together. Research shows kids who eat family meals have more balanced diets, eating more fruits and vegetables. Family meals have also been shown to lower the risk of kids participating risky behavior, like smoking or drinking. They have also been shown to lower the rates of depression in teenagers. A key to making the most of family mealtimes is to turn off distractions. In our house we turn off the tv and put our phones away so that we can join in conversation. We are not able to eat together everyday so our goal is to have 4 to 5 family meals a week. When our kids were younger we would all share our highs and lows from the day during mealtime to encourage conversation. You can also find some great conversation starters at The Family Dinner Project. 

• Practice serve and return. You might be wondering what exactly serve and return is. Simply put, serve and return is like a game of tennis. The child serves by paying attention to something and the adult returns by interacting with the child in a caring and responsive way. The cool thing about serve and return is that it builds your child's brain. There is a lot of research available that shows the important connection between brain development and caring, responsive interactions with an adult. Kids who experience these types of interactions typically hear more language. Neuroimaging has been used to show greater activity in children's language processing center of the brain from these types of interactions. These caring, sensitive relationships are also linked to cognitive competency, stronger secure attachments, emotional regulation, social skills and more. There are 5 easy steps to practicing serve and return with your child. 
• When a child serves, share their attention. The serve might be pointing at something, looking at something, or saying a word or sentence. Focus your attention on whatever they are focused on. 
• Encourage and support your child while returning their serve. You can do this by saying encouraging words, offering help, playing with them, facial expressions or physical affection. 
• Use words. Name what your child is focusing on. For example, a child might hold up a toy cow and say "Moo!" You could return this serve by saying, "That's right. A cow says Moo" or "You have a cow. A cow says Moo."
• Keep the interaction going back and forth by taking turns. Be sure to wait for your child to respond to your return. This wait time is so important to keeping the interaction going. 
• Notice when your child is done with an activity and ready to move onto the next thing.

        To see serve and return in action check out this great video here.

• Spend time outside. Spending time outside has many benefits for both children and adults. Kids who spend time outside are physically healthier. Children typically move more when they are outside, whether it is running, jumping, riding a bike or throwing and kicking balls. All of these different movements improve children's motor development. They also benefit from the aerobic exercise. Kids are less likely to be obese if they spend time playing outside because tend to burn more calories and build stronger bones and muscles. Spending time outside participating in unstructured play helps build cognitive and social/emotional skills. Unstructured play is child-driven. Adults can be involved in the play, but the children are driving the play, setting the rules, etc. Kids are more inventive and have the opportunity to use their  own abilities to explore when they are involved in unstructured play. They have the chance to practice turn taking, sharing, negotiating, cooperation, and communication when they play with friends, siblings or adults in unstructured play. And additionally, being outside in nature has been proven to reduce stress. Being outside also allows children to explore with and practice using all of their sensory skills. Kids are able to touch, smell, hear, see and possibly taste when they are outside in nature. They might see a flower, smell a flower and touch a flower, thus engaging 3 out 5 of their senses. Spending time outside can also increase your child's attention span. Spending time outside engages our kids' curiosity. It also encourages them to be more self-directed and spend more time on one activity. Kids who spend time outside are exposed to more sunlight which helps boost their Vitamin D. It also activates the part of the brain that is responsible for a strong immune system and happiness. Being outside can help improve your child's mood and make them happier. And when adults spend time outside, they also benefit in many of the same ways as kids. 

• Read books, tell stories and sing songs together with your child. Reading, story telling and singing songs help to build your child's vocabulary. The size of a child's vocabulary when they enter kindergarten is important to becoming a successful reader. These activities can also jumpstart your child's imagination. They can reenact books or stories that they have heard or create their own stories during their play. Kids can also learn social skills through books and stories. Songs and rhymes help improve listening skills as well as expose them to vocabulary. Make reading and storytelling a part of your daily routine. Some of my fondest memories of my children are around the books we shared when they were young. Even the books that we read over and over and over again! 

While there is a lot of upheaval in our daily lives, there are a lot simple ways we can support and encourage our kids' development. Just take it one day at a time. And despite the changes we are experiencing, children will continue to develop following a predictable pattern. Just take it one day at a time. And remember that the most important thing kids need to be successful is one loving adult in their life!