It's Scary!!

Ghost, Witches and Ghouls, Oh My! This time year can present many opportunities for young children to be exposed to scary things even if your family doesn't participate in the upcoming Halloween holiday.

It doesn't take much. Your child might see a scary decoration during simple trip to the store or a walk around the neighborhood. When my son was younger, about 2 years old, he saw a scary monster statue in the store as we walked past the Halloween section. From that point on, we had to strategically navigate through the store to avoid that area. He would say, "No monsters!" every time we went to the store. So now seems like a good time to take a closer look at childhood fears and how we can help our kids deal with these fears. 

It is normal for young children to develop fears. Even kids as young as 8 months can start to show fearful responses to strangers. Young toddlers recognize fearful responses in their caregivers and will move closer to them. Children, age 2 to 5, can start to develop typical fears, like being afraid of the dark, monsters or animals. It is also important to remember that kids don't start recognizing the difference between fantasy and reality until between ages 3 to 5. 

Parents can help kids navigate their fears in a number of ways: 

1. Sometimes parents are surprised by their child's fear or think the fear is silly. When your child is afraid, reassure them and let them know they are safe no matter what.
2. Label your child's fear. "That dog barked loudly and it scared you."
3. Find ways to empower your child with tools to help them. If your child is afraid of the dark, let them choose if they want to have a lamp left on in the room or the door open with a light left on in the hall. 
4. Prepare your child ahead of time if you know they might encounter something that will scare them. You might talk with your child about kids being dressed in costumes if you are going to a Halloween party.  

Here are somethings to avoid when helping your child navigate their fears. 

1. Try not to laugh at your child's fear, even if you think it is silly. 
2. Don't tell your child not to be afraid or that something isn't scary. It is scary to them even if we don't think it is scary. 
3. It can be tempting to force our children to brave when they are afraid. Take baby steps to help them overcome their fear. If they are afraid of a dog, try asking your child if they would like to wave at the dog or pet the dog while you hold them. 

Childhood fears can be tricky to navigate. Just remember that you are your child's safe place. They need to be able to lean on you when they are afraid.